Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Dink and I have definitely taken “vacations” together. But this was the first one we did JUST for us. With no obligations to anyone else. A vacation where we made all the decisions ourselves about where to stay, what to eat, what to do, etc. As we’ve been together for almost 8 years, this felt like a big deal and a long time coming!
Read on to hear more about what we did, where we went, what this vacation meant to us, and how we handled our finances from the start of planning to when we arrived home.
When I think back on our almost 8 years together, Mr. Dink and I have definitely traveled less than I would have expected. Sure, there was a pandemic sprinkled in there that absolutely had an effect, but given my love for travel and my lifestyle before I met Mr. Dink, I’m a bit surprised we haven’t traveled more.
In the past 8 years, I’ve learned that I am definitely the one with the greater travel bug among the 2 of us. Even though I stand by the sentiment I wrote about in a previous post, that everything is better at home, I still also love to travel. My mom has a love for travel, and it’s clear that she has passed that love down to me (although my love may not be quite as strong as hers). My mom LOVES to get away from home on a relatively frequent basis. She lives for her next trip. In fact, she’s often antsy and a little grumpy if she doesn’t have another trip lined up, something to look forward to. I’m not quite that extreme, although I can definitely feel her influential pull on me. I don’t necessarily love the actual act of traveling, aka getting to and from my destination, especially by plane, so sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Sometimes, the influences on me from my mom and from society, that want me to travel and tell me I’m missing out if I don’t take a “vacation” every year, are so strong that I think I have to travel. But, in fact, I don’t have to choose that for myself. In fact, I’ve been putting “vacation” in quotes throughout this post so far because I don’t believe in the traditional definitions of vacation that so many subscribe to. The getting away, the spending money, the “living it up” in a paradise away from home. I believe that I can live it up right here in my own backyard if I want to. I believe strongly in the staycation being just as good as the vacation.
Anyway, I digress…in this particular instance, for our most recent trip that is the topic of this post, I wanted to travel. For starters, I’ve only traveled via plane a few times since the pandemic began, but I’ve been reminded of how much I do like doing it every so often. Yes, it can be such a hassle, and there’s so many moving pieces. Airports are noisy and dirty and I always feel like I need twice as long of a shower as usual when I’m done with my travel day(s). But there’s something about it that’s kind of exciting. It’s different from the normal day-to-day routine. We are challenged in new ways when we travel. I feel my senses heightened. I feel alive. So yes, sometimes I do like to travel by plane, when it matters. When it’s for something I’m excited about. And I was excited to take my first real vacation with Mr. Dink.
Add to this background the fact that we never took the honeymoon we had planned to take because of, you know, that world-altering phenomenon that was/is COVID-19 (we did still get married, though). And the fact that Mr. Dink turned 40 this month! And thus, I used all these excuses as reasons why we should “treat ourselves” to a vacation. Our first real vacation.
As I’ve said, we’ve of course been on plenty of vacations. But this was going to be the very first one that didn’t have some other obligation tied to it. The first one that we got to pick every detail down to the last one. We didn’t have to see family. We didn’t have a portion of it paid for by our family. We didn’t have our itineraries laid out for us by our families. We weren’t staying at a place someone else had been to or recommended. When I really think about it, it’s baffling (and also very privileged) to have just taken our first vacation solely on our terms at ages 36 and 39.
To get Mr. Dink on board, who likes to travel by plane significantly less than me, I let him pick the destination. I wanted to go somewhere, with him, and I didn’t necessarily care where it was. I allowed plenty of time for him to get used to the idea, bringing it up several times casually and letting him know it was important to me, before we really got down to the planning. And it worked!
We landed on California, as we had always planned (California is where we originally dreamed of going for our honeymoon). But more specifically, we ended up choosing Santa Cruz as our destination. This was completely random, other than calling up one of Mr. Dink’s good friends who used to live in California and asking for some of his favorite places. We didn’t end up taking any of his recommendations, but it helped us become a bit less daunted by the huge state that is California.
So, back in October, we did the up-front work of picking an Airbnb and booking our flights and travel accommodations. Here’s what we spent.
Airbnb – $1361.35
Because we’re child-free (by choice) and have a very flexible schedule, we were able to look around for the best rates on accommodations. We knew we wanted to travel sometime in mid-January, but we weren’t boxed in to a certain week or to certain travel days, and this was the first time we really realized the upside (and privilege) of this aspect of our lives.
We knew from hosting our own Airbnb that some may have deals/discounts based on your length of stay, and so we ultimately decided to go against our original idea of staying in a few different Airbnbs for smaller stays to try and see more of the state. We decided we would stay at one Airbnb for an entire week (6 nights) to get a discount on our stay. Even though this wasn’t what we originally envisioned, in hindsight we realized that we really loved this method over moving every few days. Because we had a rental car, we could go on day trips to scratch the itch of seeing more of the state, but it was so nice having a home base and getting to know the local area.
We also decided we didn’t need to stay right in the heart of Santa Cruz. Because we had a car, we could drive to some restaurants if we wanted. Plus, we also got the Airbnb because we wanted to be able to cook in some nights. So we didn’t need to be within walking distance of restaurants and entertainment. We ended up saving ~$1000 (based on what we were seeing for prices when booking) by finding a place outside the downtown area. We ended up loving our location. It was a quiet neighborhood, a 5-min walk from the beach, and right between downtown Santa Cruz and Capitola. Because we went off season (another perk of having a flexible travel schedule), we found it very easy to get around (parking, traffic, etc).
Flights – $749.80
Originally, I had thought we might splurge and fly first class, but I ultimately just simply couldn’t stomach the price tag. Since we don’t travel anywhere near frequently, we don’t travel hack or make much use of travel rewards or airline points/miles.
However, I have been a long-time fan of American Airlines, mostly because they have the most options out of our small Vermont airport and because I have had the least issues with them over time compared with other airlines. We did end up “splurging” a bit on their Main Cabin Extra seats, which give you extra leg room, a free checked bag, and a free alcoholic drink on the airplane. Since we were going to be checking a bag anyway, I figured it was worth a shot to see how the seats really compared for the money, and I must say, I was overall impressed. I would definitely spend the extra money for that seat option again, especially on longer flights. The extra leg room came in especially handy when, on both the way to California and the way back, we had to sit on the runway for 1.5 hours (way there) and 3 hours (way back) each before a 5-hour flight. Also, Mr. Dink definitely made use of the free alcohol, and we found that except for 1 flight, the attendants would give you much more than just one drink if you asked (and sometimes even if you didn’t ask). As an added bonus I didn’t realize ahead of time, these seats are also in the very front of the plane, right behind first class, and make it very convenient when having tight connections (which we always seem to have).
I should add, we also like paying a bit more overall to fly out of our small Vermont airport, rather than purchasing cheaper flights but having to build in travel time and pay for parking at another airport farther away. This is worth it to a lot of people we know in our area, but it’s simply just not worth it to us. Maybe we will try it someday when the price difference is enough to really matter. But we know our airport well, we’re comfortable there, and we spent just under $100 to park our car there for the entire week. Well worth it, in our opinion, especially given that the flights often leave at 5 am and get in after 10 pm, making it difficult to arrange rides (plus, we live about an hour from the airport).
Rental car – $429.50
Renting a car was an absolute must for us, as we were staying 1.5 hours away from the San Francisco airport, and we wanted to be able to travel around the state to our heart’s desire. Mr. Dink wasn’t ready to try Turo (basically the Airbnb of car rentals), even with my pushing, so I gave in and we rented a car through the traditional route. I will say, it had been a LONG time since I rented a car through traditional companies like Hertz, and my memories did not make me eager to do it again. However, I can say that my experience this time made me forget those memories. It was the easiest, most seamless process I have been through in awhile. And I’m not going to lie, we also really enjoyed our newer car with all the bells and whistles (compared to our older cars). We would definitely do this again just for the ease and peace of mind. And somehow, even though it felt like we drove all over California, where gas was shockingly expensive, we managed to only need to fill the tank once the entire week (apart from a small top-off before returning the car).
Last night hotel stay – $159.60
Even though our flight home was at the modest time of 9 am (especially compared with our usual 5 am out of our Vermont airport), we in no way wanted the stress of driving 1.5 hours to the airport and returning our rental car all on the morning of our flight. So, we checked out of our Airbnb the day before our flight, drove to San Francisco, enjoyed some sight seeing in the city, returned our car, and stayed in a hotel right next to the airport.
We were curious to see how we would feel doing this, and we were incredibly happy with our choice. 100% would do again.
So, how did we divide costs?
As I’ve written about before, Mr. Dink and I keep our money and expenses separate, so we each paid for a portion of this vacation.
The 1 account we consider “ours” is where we keep any monetary gifts we receive as a couple (for example, gifts from our wedding) as well as any money we make from hosting our Airbnb. We briefly contemplated whether we wanted to use some money from that account for our vacation, but we ultimately decided we wanted to use our own money and leave that account to grow.
Mr. Dink used his credit card for the Airbnb, and I used mine for the flights, the rental car, and the hotel night. We couldn’t believe when all was said and done, we each spent about the same amount: $1300. Because we keep things separate but we also aren’t overly nitpicky, we were happy with that and moved on.
Then, when we were actually in California, we did what is comfortable for us, which is just trying our best to take turns paying for things, not worrying too much about it along the way. We planned to tally numbers up when we got home and sort out any big differences then.
We didn’t spend much differently in California than we do at home. The main difference was the amount of “dining out” money we spent. We love food, and one of our main priorities anytime we take a vacation is eating good food. We ate a lot, and we really enjoyed the different styles and the variety we found in the Santa Cruz area.
We didn’t end up spending really anything on entertainment (we walked the beaches and the neighborhoods for fun), although we did spend a bit one day to see some redwoods. We spent minimally on souvenirs. I bought a baseball cap, which I had in mind all along as something I wanted if I found one I liked, and Mr. Dink bought a T-shirt from the brewery that ended up being right next-door to our Airbnb.
As I mentioned earlier, the whole reason we got an Airbnb was so we could have a kitchen in order to cook in if we wanted to, which we did most mornings. That way, we wouldn’t have to go out for every meal. Something I specifically “splurged” on this vacation was coffee. Since Mr. Dink doesn’t drink it, and there were tons of coffee shops in the area, I took myself out for coffee every day after breakfast.
And as I mentioned above, even with our 2 day trips up and down the coast, we only filled up the gas tank once during the entire week.
Well, dear readers, what I can tell you is that it’s been over a month since we got home, and we still haven’t sat down and officially gone over the numbers. What we did do was a version of it that worked for us. Rather than sit down and make it official like we had planned, we each breezed through our statements, did some quick and basic math, and realized that we each spent about $1000 on vacation-related stuff. And we realized we were content enough with that.
Maybe we still will make it official (we are due for one of our general money dates soon, so maybe it’ll happen then), but honestly, I sort of doubt it. Our relationship with money as a couple shifts all the time, and I think this vacation saw another shift. Because even though we keep our money separate officially, we still think of it and treat it as “our” money. We’re also just in a very different phase of our relationship now. We’re 8 years in, and we’re simply just way more comfortable with ourselves and our money and the way we do things together. Plus, neither of us really enjoy the feeling that comes with penny pinching and getting in the weeds of spreadsheets and nuances. So when we saw we each spent about $1000, that’s all we needed. We were relieved and content. I almost think the financial aspect of this trip was an experiment neither of us planned. And we’re perfectly happy with the outcome.
If I’m being honest with you, there was a part of me that wanted to do it officially, sit down and make sure things were even. But when I thought more about where that feeling was coming from, I realized that it was mainly my upbringing that was guiding me toward that decision. My parents fought a lot about money growing up. Every time money came up, things got tense. Everything had to be fair, and if it wasn’t, there’d be complaining. So I think that is my knee-jerk reaction. And I’m learning to let go of this reaction because it’s not how I feel, how I want to do things.
In fact, I had decided early on in this relationship that vacations were so important to me, I would pay for them if I had to. I was willing to pay for the whole vacation if Mr. Dink would come with me. So it was just an extra bonus that Mr. Dink wanted to contribute at all.
Concluding thoughts
There you have it! Overall, we spent about $4,700 on our first real vacation. Yes, I’m a personal finance blog, and yes, this is not an exact, down-to-the-penny total. But my point here is that personal finance is personal, and everyone gets to (and should be able to) do it their own way. This is how we decided to manage our money this time, on this trip. Maybe something different will work better for us on a future trip. But this worked for us this time, and I’m perfectly ok with that.
And yes, $4,700 might seem like a lot to spend on a vacation, especially for the folks who travel hack and want to spend as little as possible. But we were actually perfectly happy with what we spent given how infrequently we travel and how little we spend in general. Maybe we will venture into the travel hacking world someday (especially if I get more of the travel bug over time), but for now, we feel we’d rather spend this amount of money on traveling every so often rather than travel hack. Additionally, the fact that we are in the wealth accumulation phase of our lives right now definitely helps to shape this mindset. If we were both early retired or working part-time, we might feel much differently about this level of spending on a vacation. But for now, we’re happy. We didn’t have to pull from our savings or sacrifice any of our automatic savings in order to go on this vacation, which is an important component for us.
I hope that if you take away anything from today’s post, you’ll take away this: you get to do it your way when it comes to your money. There are so many creators in this space sharing how they manage their money, and with the exception of a few key similarities (especially in the financial independence space), we’re all doing things a bit differently. What’s important to you isn’t necessarily important to someone else. What works for you and your household isn’t necessarily what will work for others. And this is absolutely ok. Want to budget down to the last penny? Go for it. Want to throw your budget out the window? Do that then (just promise to do it responsibly)!
Don’t let anyone else tell you how to do money, because there’s no one right answer. But if you are doing money with a partner/spouse/friend/significant other, at the very least be on the same page. I watched money plague my parents, not only because they had different money philosophies but also because they didn’t talk about money. They never took the time to figure out a strategy that worked for them. Although Mr. Dink and I don’t have the exact same thoughts and philosophies about money, we certainly have shared values, and we talk about them constantly and often. We experiment and learn what works for us.
When it comes down to it, all that matters is that you’re happy and content with your situation. Your personal situation. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
What do you think? Did we spend way too much on our 1-week vacation to California? Does it baffle you that we don’t travel hack? We’d love to hear from you! Drop us a comment, or email us at [email protected].
As a European person, what baffles me most is that you travel all that way for just one week. Could you have made it a two week stay? With some rest days in between the exploration days? Maybe even three weeks?
Or maybe you can do that when you’re closer to FI?
Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough time off to take more than a week. We definitely hope to be able to travel for longer periods as we get closer to FI and/or downshift to part-time or freelance work.