Ah, January. A long month with 5 whole weekends in it. The month right after the holiday season. Some may think of it as a let-down month. Others may subscribe to the Blue Monday way of thinking (did anyone else not hear about Blue Monday until this year?). And even others yet may be so focused on their New Year’s Resolutions that they don’t have time to be down. For sure, January is one of the harder months for me, especially living up in cold, dark Vermont at this time of year. And although I’ve never gotten into setting resolutions, I do set yearly goals, and I just happen to do them in January or late December because that’s when I find I have the most time to reflect. With a busy holiday season, this year I got to setting my goals a bit late, and I was surprised by what I discovered.
I’ve written a detailed post in the past about how I set my goals. In short, I divide my goal-setting experience into three phases. First, I reflect on last year’s goals. What did or didn’t I accomplish? How do I feel about what I did or didn’t accomplish? Where do I want to make changes this year? Second, I write down what I learned in the past year. These learnings might come directly from some of my reflections from part 1, or they may be other learnings that come up that have nothing to do with the goals I set for myself. I really enjoy this phase. I often have my calendar (I still use a paper calendar) out while I do it, so I can see some of the events that happened throughout the year to help spark any learnings. Finally, phase 3 is actually writing down new goals for the year.
I write down my goals based on categories, such as work-related goals, personal goals, and wellness goals. These categories can change from year to year. Some I may give a different name (for example, I changed my weight-loss goal category one year to a wellness goal category when I decided it was no longer important for me to lose weight but to focus more on a healthy lifestyle. Others may get removed if they’re no longer important (although I don’t think that’s happened yet). And I may add other categories. Last year, I decided to add a friends and family goal category, mainly because there were a few big events I wanted to intentionally plan and I wanted to keep them top of mind.
But throughout the year, I noticed the impact that that goal category had on me. By adding the category and keeping it at the forefront of my mind, I said yes to so many things that I may not have otherwise. I wrote about these experiences many times over the last year on the blog as well. So much so that by the end of 2022, before I even sat down to reflect and start my goal process, I knew what my theme for 2023 would be.
A few years ago, in addition to setting specific goals in specific categories, I also decided to implement an overarching theme for my year. In the past, I’ve wanted to focus on my work (what I do for income) and finding a job that isn’t toxic and that is aligned with my career goals. I’ve also focused on saving: things like getting my 401k match, then increasing my contribution, then opening a personal brokerage, then increasing the savings amount into my personal brokerage. At this point, I’ve been on the FI journey for long enough that my savings are automated and where I want them to be. If I need or want to make changes, it’s an easy task. My saving and investment strategy is a well-oiled machine.
So with this and with the way 2022 turned out, with so much growth and inspiration and joy in the friends and family category, and with a niece on the way in Summer 2023, there was no question about what my theme would be for this year. As I reflected on 2022, I realized I had some amazing experiences with friends and family, because I was intentional about how I spent my time and what I said yes to. I’ve decided I want more of these experiences with friends and family.
There are data out there that show that in adulthood, we spend less time with our parents, siblings, and friends and more time with our coworkers, partners, and children. And then in our later years we spend an increasing time alone. I don’t want the time spent with my parents, siblings, and friends to be in the rearview mirror. I want more time with them now, and I know by being intentional, I can do it.
So what does this mean?
What this means for work
Regular readers of this blog know that I’m on a slow FI journey, meaning that I’m not in a rush to reach my financial independence number (25x my yearly expenses). I’m more focused on living my best life now, along the way to FI, using the financial freedom I’ve already gained.
Regular readers may also know that my plan when it comes to work was to decrease my hours/go part-time or freelance when I hit Flamingo FI (half my FI number).
However, alternatives to this plan have been swirling around in my mind over the past year. I already felt (to me) that this plan was conservative, and with my strong pull to have more time and spend more time with friends and family, I’ve been starting to reconsider whether it’s worth waiting until I hit Flamingo FI.
In addition, things at work have started off a bit rocky this year. Although I thought I found a company I could stay with for awhile and try to go part-time with, some recent events have made me question this (lay-offs, no bonuses, raises being postponed, etc.).
And maybe the strongest pull of all was when I told Mr. Dink over the holidays that I think I want to decrease my hours this year, in 2023.
It’s clear I want a change. Knowing that I’ve already hit my Coast FI number (having enough invested that it will grow to full FI by traditional retirement age, 65) definitely helps give me some confidence, but we’ll see what happens. I know myself and the golden handcuffs are strong. Even though I spend way less than I earn, I still love knowing I make good money (especially from a feminist perspective). I still struggle with the limiting belief that I won’t be seen as “successful” if I go part time (thanks academia). I worry that I’m destined to live out the one-more-year syndrome for years to come.
But my hope is that being so clear on my goals, knowing what I’m working toward and why I want it, will help. In fact, I’ve been thinking a lot about my “why for FI” lately, and I plan to share a post soon. By keeping these things front of mind, they will be a part of any decision I make about work. Only time will tell.
What this means for the blog
This blog brings me so much joy and happiness. Last year at this time, when I set my goals fo 2022, I set a personal goal of trying to write something every day, even if it was just a quick entry in my journal. I have been a journaler on and off for a long time, but I have always longed to write more. I thought I wanted to start a blog (I’ve had the name Dinks on a Bus swirling in my head for some time), but starting a blog felt incredibly intimidating. I decided I needed to start small, with a much simpler goal than to start a blog. So I made my goal to write every day.
But when I started writing, I knew. I wrote every day for about a month, and by the end of the month, I had almost 20 pieces that I knew were destined to be blog posts as I wrote them. I didn’t think twice. I took a week off in February, a staycation, where I did a lot of the legwork on starting this blog. I found a hosting platform I wanted to try, and I purchased this domain name. The plan was in place, and I published my first post in March. The rest, as they say, is history!
Now, the blog has gone from a goal to a habit. It has become part of my life (it honestly feels like it’s another limb sometimes, since I work on it almost every day). And let me be clear, I don’t intend to go anywhere. This blog brings me too much happiness and and joy to let it go.
When I started the blog, I had the goal to post every week (on Friday). For the most part, with only a few exceptions, I have stuck to that schedule, and I’m so proud of myself for that. It hasn’t felt hard or like a burden at all, which makes me know even more that it is supposed to be a part of my life.
But I’m equally as clear that I want to prioritize time spent with friends and family this year. I love sports – watching them and playing them. Now that my friends’ kids are getting older, they are starting to play sports, and I love watching them play. With one of my friends, I wasn’t able to get to any of her son’s basketball games last year, and I made it a goal to prioritize that this year. So when she texted me last week that there was a game on Saturday, I made it a priority to fit it into my schedule. It was smack dab in the middle of the day at noon, and so I decided I would hike before, and then work on the blog and do some church tasks I had been putting off after, before we were supposed to go to dinner with other friends. After the basketball game, my friend asked if I wanted to go get lunch. I hesitated, because I had planned to work on the blog and get things done, but I remembered my goal of prioritizing friends and family, and so I was able to easily say yes. Turns out, my friend had had a really rough morning with her husband and needed someone to talk to. I was thrilled to be able to be there for her, which I wouldn’t have been able to do if I’d said no. Sure, I didn’t get to work on the blog, but I still was able to get some other things done and be there for a good friend at the same time.
So, all that to say, I don’t necessarily know what prioritizing friends and family in 2023 will mean for the blog, but I know I need to do it. And if I end up needing to post less often because of time spent with friends and family, I know that’s what I’ll do. And it’ll be perfect. And it’ll be worth it. Because life’s too short to do anything but what your heart desires, what it longs for, what it’s calling you to do. Isn’t that what financial freedom is all about? Being able to say yes to the things that matter the most?
What are you prioritizing this year? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear from you!
A quick P.S.: I use Bluehost for my blog hosting platform, and this week they did an update that resulted in me having an error on my website for a few days. If you happened to visit the blog during this time, I apologize for the inconvenience! Luckily, Bluehost has pretty great customer service, so I was able to get back up and running, but it wasn’t as quick as I hoped. Everything appears to be working fine now. I appreciate your support!