Or should I say, for the financial independence retire early (FIRE) knowledge I have gained and the lifestyle I have adopted, since I’m not officially financially independent yet.
Why am I so grateful at this current moment in time, you might be wondering?
Well, this summer has been an absolute roller coaster.
The weekend before Father’s Day, we found out that the health of Mr. Dink’s Dad had taken a turn for the worse.
The time between then and Monday July 6, the day Mr. Dink’s dad died, was an absolute blur. To have his Dad go from seemingly relatively healthy and completely independent at age 74, to losing his coherence and needing 24-hour care, was completely mind boggling. The things Mr. Dink went through, the decisions he had to make, the internal turmoil it caused him, I don’t wish on anyone.
However, in those moments of despair, because of both the financial situation we’re in and the lifestyle we’ve built, almost all thanks to the FIRE movement, we were ok. We were grateful.
The money side of things
What we blessedly did not have to worry about during this time was money. Because of our financial position (over half the way to FI) and our healthy emergency fund, worrying about how we were going to afford things during a time of crisis was not on the table.
We live in Vermont, and Mr. Dink’s dad is in Florida, so flights were by far the top financial need. When Mr. Dink first got the call from his dad that things were going downhill, he didn’t have to think twice about purchasing a flight down to see him.
Then, when things got even worse a few short days after Mr. Dink returned to Vermont after that visit, we didn’t hesitate to book flights back down together.
When the hospice nurses called the day of his death to say they didn’t think he’d make it until the next day, which was when our flights were originally scheduled, we didn’t hesitate to book additional, same-day flights without cancelling the others. We knew we would figure it all out, and that ultimately it didn’t matter. We would have paid any price to get down there to be with Mr. Dink’s dad on his death bed.
The list goes on…
Worrying about losing our money on concert tickets to a show we could no longer go to? Who cares.
We were scheduled to take a trip to Germany for my cousin’s wedding later in the summer. I did a bit a research when I had the time about what refund options were available, if in the worst case we had to cancel that trip. Although it seemed I could get most of our money back, I wasn’t even stressed about it. All the major things like airfare and places to stay had already been paid for, and if worst case we lost it all, it didn’t matter. It was a price we were willing to (and could afford to) pay.
The old me would have been SICK about all this. Anxious to the max over losing every last dollar we couldn’t get back. This is no surprise, as my mom constantly talks about money, especially when traveling. She has to make the most out of every dollar and obsesses down to the penny. Thus, the frugality and penny pinching is ingrained in me. But the new me that is fully ingrained in my financial independence lifestyle didn’t have a single worry other than for Mr. Dink and his despair over the sudden decline of his dad. What a blessed feeling that was in the midst of such turmoil.
The lifestyle side of things
Thanks to my introduction to slow FI many years back, I have made so many decisions as of late that have enhanced my lifestyle and aligned it with my values.
As I shared recently, I went from part-time at work to even more part-time at work (15 hours) in April. That timing ultimately could not have been better. Not having to stress about work while supporting Mr. Dink through this time was, to me, priceless.
One of the main reasons I stayed at my job while going to a 15-hour work week rather than going freelance was my boss, and that proved wonders as well.
No boss is perfect, but boy do I have a good one. I received nothing but support during this challenging time. When I met with her the week we first found out about the health decline, she asked me how my week was, and I couldn’t fake it. I had to be honest. I updated her on what all was going on with Mr. Dink’s dad, and she immediately told me if I needed to take time off or work from elsewhere, it wasn’t a problem. I had a hunch she’d react that way, but it was still nice of her to say it anyway, unprompted. The support only continued when I ended up needing to take bereavement leave just a few short weeks later.
I also work remotely, and while this isn’t as big of an anomaly as it used to be, it could have been instrumental during this time. If Mr. Dink’s dad had lingered, I could have had the flexibility to work from Florida while we ran support.
Final thoughts
Money is a tool. And I realized during this time that it is a tool I’m using for my own peace of mind. For the past few years, I’ve often had the following thought to myself: I refuse to let myself stress over money. But I honestly wondered how I would feel if that statement was ever really put to the test. Well, I can honestly say now that I have been put to that test, that this is an accurate statement at this point in my life. Not wanting to stress over money was one of the main points of my financial journey in the first place. I watched my parents ultimately divorce over their money arguments and differences, and I was determined not to let that be me. I’m so thankful I found a partner who wants to be on this money journey with me.
I also learned during this time that I have made leaps and bounds when it comes to disappointment and expectations. I was worried that I would be disappointed about all the things we had to miss. When we dropped everything to attend to Mr. Dink’s dad, we missed out on planned camping trips, concerts, and so many other special Vermont summer moments. Of course there was disappointment, for both of us, but we shared in our grief, let go, and leaned on each other. Because of our strong foundation, this time of turmoil brought us together rather than dragged us apart. Mr. Dink leaned on me and my family, and we embraced him unconditionally. We found ways to still enjoy togetherness and the Vermont summer. We went on hikes full of both solitude and conversation. We watched movies. We played cards. We did a spontaneous camping trip in our camper trailer. We honored Mr. Dink’s dad. We savored every moment, because who knows how many we will have. We feel that more than ever now.
Life is a journey, friends, and one that is full of unexpected turns. Thanks for going down the road with me.
Ok, thank you for listening, but enough about me! I’m excited to hear how your summers have been going (and honestly, I could use the distraction). How are you feeling about your financial independence journey these days? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to drop a comment below, or you can reach out to me directly at mrs@dinksonabus.com.