Well, I had planned to post this last Friday, like I always do, but the Vermont winter weather had other plans. Although we only lost power twice for 30 minutes each (many of our friends and neighbors were without power until Christmas Day!), we did lose cable and internet, and hadn’t gotten it back by the time we left for a mini vacation to Portland, Maine. So, I’m posting this now with some free hotel Wi-Fi. Such is life, right? We roll with the punches.
When I had originally planned to post this, Christmas was arriving in two days (for those who celebrate), and the blanket term “holiday season” was officially upon us (doesn’t it seem to get longer and longer each year?!). I wanted to bring you this short post with some musings for you to ponder (or not, my feelings totally won’t be hurt) on what is “enough”. This holiday season, I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept, and how we can harness it on our FI (financial independence) journeys.
In one of my favorite Mr. Money Mustache blog posts, he references an anecdote from the book Enough by John Bogle, the founder of Vanguard. Bogle witnessed an exchange between Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller, two famous authors, at a party hosted by a billionaire hedge-fund manager. Vonnegut tells Heller that their host makes more money in a single day than Heller had ever earned over time from his famous novel, Catch-22.
And how does Heller respond? “Yes, but I have something he will never have…enough.”
The simple power of enough. What’s “enough” is going to be different for everyone, and how it manifests is going to be different too.
Knowing what’s enough for me (in other words, being clear on my why for FI, or financial independence), helps quiet my ego. Helps me avoid the comparison trap. Helps give me sanity on days where I want to burn my 9-5 to the ground (ok, that’s dramatic, but these days do occur, albeit rarely).
I’ve written on the blog previously about my good friend since childhood. The one we vacationed with on our own terms this summer. The one whose husband once said to me “that’s not a professor’s car!” Although this friend and I struggle to continue to have things in common, we still remain good friends. Because we listen to each other, and we don’t judge each other for the ways we choose to live (spoiler alert: we choose to live VERY differently).
I must admit, it does get harder for me to be a supportive friend as I see her buy more and more things and inflate their lifestyle to the point I think it will burst. It’s not necessarily because I disagree with her having big fancy things (although that is the case some of the time, thanks to my care for our planet), but because her lifestyle is so different from the one I choose to live.
It’s hard not to jump on the comparison bandwagon when I see her buying another house in Florida and taking another international trip. But because I know what’s enough for me, I don’t get jealous or resentful, and we are able to connect over the things that do matter: our deep, long-lasting friendship (we’ve been friends since we were 2 years old) and my love for her kids. Plus, when I take the time to really think about it, I don’t actually want to live in Florida, and I’d rather be at home on a staycation than take an international trip. Isn’t it funny how our egos can straight up lie to us?
In my opinion (and I could very well be wrong), my friend chooses the lifestyle she has, buying more and more stuff, because she has no concept of enough. It’s not even on her radar. And what could possibly be enough for her, anyway, if all that she has still isn’t?
You see, the world wants us to want these material things. Society wants us to be driven by consumerism, because that is good for business and for the economy. But it is not good for our pockets, and I would argue, neither is it good for our souls.
And while we are all out there buying nice things, and in this world where social media is the driver, it can be really hard not to compare ourselves to everyone else. To want what everyone else has. I admit, it’s even hard for me. Like, really hard sometimes. But what gets me through is reminding myself of my “enough”, of my why.
Let’s take a real-life example of something that’s happening for me right now. I’m currently living out the dilemma where I’ve found out I won’t be getting a yearly bonus (after getting one last year for the first time ever, and having my boss tell me it would only get bigger in years to come).
I also found out I likely won’t be getting the raise they’ve been promising me for months. Now, there are many inherent things wrong with both of these situations that are beyond the relevance to this post (in other words, yes I’m going to fight tooth and nail for the raise just on principle alone). But the major point I want to make here is that I feel like I should be upset. I should feel resentful. I should demand more or look for another job. When the reality is that my job owes me nothing. No one is going to look out for me but me, and I surely shouldn’t be relying on my job for happiness and contentment.
But the truth is, I do have these feelings. It’s sometimes hard for me to focus on tasks because I get myself worked up, like Clark Griswold in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (although I refuse to wreck the house and all my Christmas decorations) when he realizes he’s not getting his Christmas bonus.
What catapults me out of these feelings? Out of my own head, my own ego, and these spiraling thoughts? Reminding myself of my why, my goals. Reminding myself of what’s “enough” for me. Because the truth also is that for the most part, I like my job. And I already have enough money. Meaning I’m hitting all my goals: my savings are automated, and I spend less than I earn. Sure, if I was paid more, I could get to financial independence faster, but I’m already making more than I’ve ever made in my life. And when all is said and done, I’ll still have saved about 50% of my income this year.
It’s incredibly difficult in the industry I’m in to find a nontoxic work culture, and not be pressured to climb the ladder, take on more responsibility, and work 80 hours a week. Many higher-ups at my company do this, but I don’t, and no one complains about it. I sign on at 9, sign off at 5, and do good work in between. I get glowing performance reviews anyway. I’ve even told my boss I don’t plan to take the typical path, and she’s been nothing but supportive. I have enough. And eventually, I want to go part-time, and I’m relatively confident I can do that at this company (although I have multiple plan Bs if I end up being wrong about that, because at the end of the day, I know I’m just a number to senior leadership).
By not being obsessed with climbing the ladder, but not trying to impress everyone at the detriment to myself, by setting good boundaries, I have the least amount of work stress I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t that be enough? It is for me. Especially now, this holiday season.
Because when it comes down to it, what I really want is more time, not more money. And that’s what I’m working toward.
How are you feeling this holiday season? What’s “enough” for you these days? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear from you!
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